Love
I met my wife while working at a daycare during the summer- I was charged with keeping the afterschoolers entertained, and she watched over the nursery.
Over the few months we worked together, we started spending more and more time together at work- finding reasons to bump into each other in the hall, etc.
To make a long story somewhat short, one Friday night I received a call from my sister, telling me that my (future) wife wanted to meet me at the daycare.
It was there- amongst the plastic playground equipment with safety-rounded edges, that we fell in love. We talked for hours, and when we eventually kissed, the words "I love you," fell abruptly and unceremoniously from my mouth. It was one of the few times in my Asperger-ridden life that the filter was ripped clean off its hinges, and the words sprung clean and unadulterated from my lips.
I waited in sheer terror for what seemed like an eternity (but must what have been half a second) until she said she loved me too.
And that was it. No streamers, no gondola in Venice or Eiffel Tower in Paris- but it was love.
Later, when I have children, I suppose they'll ask me how they know they're in love.
I'll tell them that the surest sign of love occurs after that magical moment. It happens every time you take the smallest amount of time to stare into their eyes- at that moment, you're transported back in time, to when it all began. All the hard weeks and tribulations you've faced melt like snow, and love emerges unscathed and ready to battle the harships of life.
So it is with me and my wife. With our schedules, it is sometimes difficult to spend quality time with one another. Reconnecting takes a modicum of effort, but sometimes even that's too much to give. Yet, when we do spend time together- on a date, walking a nature trail, etc.- we quickly become too bumbling kids without a care in the world.
Sounds small, but that's the difference between a happy marriage and divorce. Those who divorce either can't or won't find a way to renew the connection. For those truly in love, the connection is so easy to recreate (and bolster) that divorce is inconceivable. If one of us ever filed papers, we'd fall in love all over again while arguing over who gets what.
Here's hoping my readers have that kind of love for somebody- there's nothing on earth like it. I would liken it to a paradise. Mine is covered with autumn leaves and playground swings, and I visit it every time I look into my wife's eyes.
You can keep Paris.
Labels: Musings
Good for you two. We seem to have become a "throw-away" society in the last fifty years. Nothing comes in returnable bottles, you can't even get a tv repaired any more. And this attitude seems to extend to marriages. The first little bump in the road and we throw away the spouse.
My wife and I celebrated our 46th anniversary in June, and though there have been ups and downs we'd still rather be together. The marriage is not only worth keeping, we're still very much in love.
Posted by
Fish-2 |
8:23 AM
Reminds me of what I told my 17 year old daughter a few weeks ago- she has several "boyfriends" that are all at some stage of negotiating the relationship. I told her not to worry too much about these boys because when the right one comes along, it will all be so easy, the pieces will all fall into place, and there just won't be any time or need to
negotiate.
Love is not always an easy thing, but it is not supposed to be as hard as we sometimes make it!
Posted by
bulletholes |
11:08 AM
Sigh.
I think having two parents that are totally in love helps, as well. I've seen them go through the good and the bad (raising 4 kids isn't easy), but even now, with their 30th anniversary on the horizon, they giggle and laugh together, and look at each other with love in their eyes.
With an example like that, knowing that such a thing exists, I knew when I met my husband that I'd have a chance at it too!
Posted by
Lisa Hutch |
1:25 PM